As a kid I thought turning 50 was old and I have not really given much thought to what life would be like post 50, which brings me to my current reality.
So I’m 50 now, yes 50. I don’t feel 50, so call me 50 years young.
My wife asked: “Can this birthday celebration be different, can you celebrate with joy?” I have not really celebrated birthdays with parties, except for a couple in my teens, which my parents initiated. For me a birthday had been a milestone moment of what goals I have missed the last year or a moment of reflection on some poor decisions. Especially the big birthdays, where you reflect on the last decade, not a milestone, but more of a crushing millstone moment. Maybe I’ve set too many goals or the goals were unrealistic, but how would you ever achieve something significant if you don’t have anything to aim at? We also make decisions with the information at hand at the time, with hindsight always trumping the “now”, on the not-so-good decision outcomes.
I understood what my wife was saying, or rather what she did not say and I nodded in agreement that this one will be different. So what will be different now? My 50th celebration will not focus on “what” I missed but “who” I will miss. It will celebrate not just my journey of life, but our journey as a family and won’t be just a moment of reflection, but a joy filled celebration that will create a memory… a moment that will also look to the future, to ponder on what is possible. This birthday, although a milestone moment, will be different, it will be a joyous memory stone moment!
If you are blessed with an 11th hour on the last day of your journey of life, I bet your parting wish will be to see those nearest and dearest to you one more time, with the only difference that you’d not really be in the place where you could interact as in the days gone by. You’ll share some memories, may laugh, may cry. That moment will forever be a memory moment… the last one, it’s goodbye. So why wait?
My birthday wish for what others call a milestone birthday, filled with fancy dinners, parties and presents, is simply a memory stone moment. “What gift would you like?” my family ask. “Your presence only, thanks”, my heartfelt reply.
I’ve booked my whole family into a fancy hotel over the weekend so we can share meals together and simply enjoy each other’s company, while we are all in good health and in good spirits. Creating a memory stone on this 50th milestone birthday!
A milestone birthday is not just reflecting on what we have achieved, but rather who we are becoming. Not the age, but of age. Refined, yet still curious and hope filled that our best is yet to come, regardless our milestone number. A milestone birthday is our day, we need to own it and make it something memorable. No better way to make it memorable than to use the occasion to bless others.
Was this celebration all joy? A few things worked out differently than expected, but joy also showed up in abundance through unexpected moments, like the “Live Life with Joy” themed cake my wife arranged and through the thoughtful gifts and cards I received from my family. Our disposition towards life should be to live life with joy, even in moments of its absence.
My Dad lived his whole life in pursuit of giving away what he had and I belief that is why God blessed him with many years, through many tears and trenches, that most would not survive, yet he thrived and his life stories are an incredible testimony and inspiration to all who hear it. My parents wanted to buy me something really nice for my birthday, but my only wish was for them to celebrate this memory stone birthday with me. What a blessing it is as a parent to celebrate your child’s 50th!! I pray I will be blessed to experience that as well. I did get a beautiful watch from my parents, which for me resemble being blessed with having more “time” with them, which I treasure greatly.
True joy is not found in what you get from this life, but what you can give through your life. What might be deemed a little in your hand, could be life changing in someone else’s.
Who can you help today to live life with joy? What have you experienced that can be an encouragement to someone else? How can you turn your next milestone moment into a memory stone one?
So stop beating yourself up about what you have not achieved in the past, how things you planned turned out or what you have or should have had by now. Think about how today can be different, think about how today can be memory stone. Your life matters, what you do with your life matters.
Grab your pen, write your story as a memory stone and share the revelation that continues to flow from it. Your birthday should be a memorable moment, to be thankful for the gift of life you have received and a reminder to make it count. Bless others, be generous and give what you can. Change someone else’s world. Do it today, do it now and live life with joy.